Day 6, 1541HRS
Approx. 100.3miles inland of Jeddah

If I’m committed to winning the war against terror by purely non-lethal means, perhaps someone should ask the terrorists if they’re possibly open to winning the war for terror by the same means, too.

Because as I sit here, surveying several burly men with big machine guns march purposefully around a courtyard, it seems a little bit unfair. You know what? I should have joined the Army. I bet an Army man in this situation would have just scoffed and called in a fleet of Apaches, watching them decimate every thing that so much as crawled without permission while sucking on a big fat cigar. Snot fair.



Day 6, 1455HRS
Approx. 100miles inland of Jeddah, Saudi Arabia



I bluff the guards. Here for the deal, I say. They don't like my accent, but I give them the ol' "Don't worry, sirs, I'm not American, I'm Canadian" routine which, I believe, is official State Department policy. I offer to sing the first verse of O Canada to seal the deal. The easily confused terrorist moves towards his radio set to call his boss for verification, and gets a tranquilizer dart to the base of his skull along with his friend, and their bodies slump to the ground in unison. I’m in.


Day 6, 1032HRS
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Whuzzut? Wheremi? Safe house? How’d I get back here?

Ugh. Stumble, lurch. Crikey. What time is it? Did I get past that blasted watch tower? Computer, what time is it? Ooh, email.